A Day of Remebrance

Good Morning...

I know it's been a long time since I posted so I will give you an update on how things are going with my life. Back in May I posted that my mom and I faced being homeless but I am happy to say that we have moved into a nice apartment and things are better now. On the sad note my father passed away in June and in a way it's a relief. Now he's no longer in pain and is now with his family. He was the last of the children from his side of the family.  I started back to school last week and so far my classes are pretty interesting. I'm beginning to write the 2nd and 3rd acts of my screenplay in one of my classes and learning about the history of comics in my other class. Needless to say that class has been quite fun.
Onto the video. This song came out not too long after the towers fell. It's by Alan Jackson and the lyrics are heart wrenching and emotionally powerful. On this day of remembrance let us take a moment and listen to this powerful song and remember that our world did stop turning on that day. We as a country have grown stronger and have powered on but we have never forgotten what happened 16 years ago. I remember where I was when it all went down. I was in Texas at the time and my sister was sleeping on the couch, it was her birthday. I woke up and turned the Tv on in time to see the second plane hit. I was in shock and thought that it was a joke. Then I saw that this was live and actually happening I prayed that my sister wouldn't wake up.
As a person I have moved on and have tried leave the past in the past. But each day I am reminded of it. We will never forget what happened but we do need to move on and figure out a way to live again. There are disasters that have taken place in the last week, that's where our focus should be right now. First Hurricane Harvey hit TX then Hurricane Irma hit Florida. Both states are in dire need of help. The people and the animals are in need. I'm asking everyone out there to donate what they can to help. Let's pull together as a country and help those that need it now more than ever.
I have family in Florida and I don't even know if they are safe or not. I'm praying they are. Please lets take this day and focus our attention on the Hurricane survivors.
Anyways. That's all for now. I will try and post more often. Can't guarantee anything with schoolwork. This is Jeremy's Flame, out.

😢

 

 

 

   Good Afternoon. I know it's been a long time since I've posted. A lot has happened since my last post. I've gone into a pretty bad place right now and have no idea how to come out of it. This past February we had to put my dad in a nursing home and with him went our only way to pay rent. So now my mom and I are facing being homeless unless we can find a way to pay the rent here until another apartment comes available. I'm truly scared for the first time in my life. I've done nothing but cry for the past few months and that's not me. I fought cancer last year and won that battle, but this, facing homelessness really scares me. My mom went to the bank to see if she could get a loan and we haven't heard anything and I guess that's good news. I just need some good news right now. I've been dealing with a lot lately besides that. I started having problems with my right hand back in February. I developed what's called Overuse Syndrome and trigger finger. Well it got worse and started to affect my thumb. I developed severe trigger thumb and wound up going in for Physical Therapy. It helped clear up the tendonitis that had developed but hasn't helped with the trigger thumb. So today I finally saw a hand specialist and got a cortisone injection in my thumb . I won't know how things will be with my thumb for a few days to a few weeks. I'm trying to find another job that will be easier on my hand as that's what my PT said I needed to do. I don't know what we're going to do come the end of the month. I can't help but be scared and depressed. There were times that I had actually thought of just ending it all. But then where would that leave my mom and my cat. I know suicide isn't the answer to anything. It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I haven't had these feelings since my brother died almost 31 years ago. I hate these feelings and don't know what to do. I know my mom is worried and stressed too and I hate seeing her like this. Each night that passes we get closer and closer to not having anywhere to go. All I want is to feel safe again and be able to know that things will be okay. I want my life back. I need that feeling to go away and to be able to feel normal again and safe. I want a better job. I am going up to the hospital next week to speak with HR to see if they will hire me. I have my resume I need to work on and get some Letters of Reference from different people. I have the skills they want I just need someone to give me a chance.

 

Anyways, that's been my life these last few months. It hasn't been easy and now things just keep getting harder and harder. Please send good energy my way and pray that we are able to find a place to live.

Signing off for now. Jeremy's Flame, out.

 



Merry Christmas With Love.

Good Afternoon!!! Been a few days and well what can I say I've been busy with getting things ready for Christmas. Just thought that I would post a quick note wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas and I hope everyone has a wonderful day with their families and friends. It's going to be a quiet day here at my house. Going to try and watch a few movies that I have been wanting to watch for a few months now. Received an Amazon gift card from a dear friend and then I cashed in some of my points from different apps I have and got another gift card for Amazon. So went shopping and bought two things that I wanted. I got a new Kindle Fire and the movie Pete's Dragon. Yes I know it's a kids movie but I love the original movie and I needed to see this one. They made Elliot real!! I've posted my favorite Christmas carol here today. This has been my favorite song at Christmas time for a very long time. So please enjoy Merry Christmas with Love as sung by Clay Aiken. And again I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas with their loved ones....
Merry Christmas to Jeremy and his lovely little girl Ava. Hope that Santa brings you everything that you have ever wished for.
This is Jeremy's Flame, out!!

His laughter makes me feel good!

Good Morning!!! Just finished school for the day and decided to blog. I know second day in a row!! LOL!! Hey give me time to get back into the swing of things. Been off for a few months due to the chemo and of course chemo brain. But now I'm back and feeling good... As for movies. Well I still haven't seen Arrival yet and I am dying to see it. I have heard nothing but good things about it and Jeremy does an amazing job from what I hear. A few friends of mine have gone to see it and I told them not to tell me anything about it because I will go and see it. I am thinking of doing that next week when I am out of school. There are so many movies that I want to see that are out right now. I want to see DR. STRANGE and FANTASTIC BEASTS AND WHERE TO FIND THEM. Both look really good. I also want to see the new Disney movie, MOANA. Yes I still love Disney movies even though I don't have any kids. Nothing wrong with that at all. Heck I watched Mary Poppins last week on TV.  I've seen that movie so many times I have it memorized. Anyways....I've posted this man laughing today and I can honestly say that his laugh is incredible and it makes me all warm and tingly inside. It's just so big and boisterous that you can't help but love it. Plus it makes me laugh and that's what I've needed these last few months...Anyways...That's all for today...Gotta go start baking now....This is Jeremy's Flame, out!

I'm Back and Doing Great!!!

Good Morning!!!! Yes I'm back and I'm feeling really good. The last time I posted was to post that I was diagnosed with Stage 1 Her 2 + breast cancer. I had a partial mastectomy in August and started Chemo in August too. Well good news is the cancer is gone and I am on the mend. I finished my final chemo on December 6th and am just not starting to feel better. Had a rough week with my tummy feeling all out of sorts and not wanting to eat, but I ate because I had to. Today is the first day I have actually been able to eat without taking anti nausea meds. So that's a good thing. School is finished this week for this semester and I am actually doing a lot better than I thought. I have one more thing  that I have to do this week and that's work on my outline and make it better so that I get a better grade for it. Then I am off for the next few weeks. Well over a month actually. My next semester starts February 6, 2017.
I owe a lot to several people. My mom really was there for me through the whole thing and made sure that I stayed strong and ate good food and got me out and moving around instead of staying at home and doing nothing. My besties Danni and Trudy were there when I needed to talk and were understanding when I didn't feel good and just needed someone to bitch too. All my friends on Facebook were there for me when I needed to vent on Facebook. And last but certainly not least are these two men pictured above. Gavin Degraw's music has gotten me through a lot of these times during my chemo. His music picked me up and made me keep going. And my main man Jeremy!!! His laughter, its a youtube video and I've watched it a lot lately, and all his posts on Instagram have kept me going too. So thank you to both of you gentlemen for making my life a lot better these past few months!!!

Anyways...This is Flame saying good bye for now. Forever Jeremy's Flame.

I'm okay!!

 

 

 

Good Morning....I know it's been a few days but now that I have had a chance to process everything I'm doing much better. I have seen my oncologist, radiologist and had the MRI done in the last 2 weeks and I have to see my surgeon on the 16th. I'll find out then what my MRI results are and how bad the cancer is. I do know that it is Stage 1 and it's the most common form. So they caught it in time and there is a possibility that I won't need chemotherapy. I did find out that it is what they term Estrogen positive 90% and Progesterone positive 90%. So it's hormone receptor positive. So I'm dealing with that as well. I was able to have genetic testing done to see if it is hereditary and should know something about that in the next few weeks. Once I find that out I should be able to have a plan of attack for it. As for me, I'm doing surprisingly well with everything. No more crying fits and no more being pissed off. Now I am set to fight this and it's a fight I intend on winning. I think the song Fight Song applies to me pretty good right now. So I have taken that song as my fight song now. Plus, Jeremy is still my inspiration for things right now. He is my angel in a way and it will be him, my mom, my sisters (Trudy and Danni) and my friends that get me through this rough patch in my life. I have too much to live for so this ain't gonna stop me. Anyways. Lots of love to you Jeremy, you are my angel and I thank the goddess for sending you into my life. Signing off for now...Jeremy's Flame, out.

It's Breast Cancer

Good Morning...I know that it's been a while since I last posted and that's really my fault. Life gets in the way and things get crazy. What with school and work it gets a bit daunting at times. Although I think I may be taking this blog to a different perspective and view for now. I know I focus mainly on how amazing Jeremy Renner is and he still is very amazing but this time I am going to focus on me right now. See this week I had a biopsy done and I go the results yesterday. I got the worst news that any woman would ever want to hear. I have breast cancer. I'm holding it in okay and staying positive but it's going to be okay. I have a great support system in my mom, my sister Trudy , my sister Danni and my other friends and family that I have around me. I know I will get through this and will be okay. Just bare with me as I get my barings straight and my life comes back to a new normal for me. Sincerely, Flame. Love ya lots Jeremy, thanks for coming into my life and making me realize I can have my dreams.....Jeremy's Flame, signing off for now.